Paffy

paffy @ 2006-08-14T10:26:00

2006-08-14T14:34:24Z

"The few who do are the envy of the many who only
watch." Jim Rohn

Senior Year Memories

2006-05-12T17:26:27Z

Having just completed my last year of college, I find it fitting to once again to do a sketch of my Senior Year memories.

Water rights in the TKE house before almost anyone was moved in
Scrawny to Brawny
The return of Birdman and Artman
Getting experience in needed areas
Summer life in Gunson
Monopoly Bitches!
Peer Advising another year
Artman's 21st birthday - good lord
Detroit Baskeeeetballllllll
Espn.com
Realgm.com
First TKE party hookup
Plans for the world
Consulting
My last all nighters in the library
Senior Seminars
The smoke lounge
The TKE house - Living like men
Smoking on the roof
Techno Tuesday
Even after four years of college some things never change...... We're still better than you - TKE Bar Crawl 2006
Stripper Nights
The Mario laugh
Many crushes
Stealing the parking sign
Jumping into the contruction zone and ganking a bike
TKE party at West Bloomfield, basement anyone?
Walk back from said party to Shay's house - Flounder you almost died on dust
Me and Holmes rocking the beer pong table, 2-0 against Taylor and Brooks in series play
Cedar Point with Riggens and crew
Beer pong at Herweyers - fucking girls
Shard's can tower followed by his anger
Living with Haas over winter break
Village Market dalliances
Girl techniques
Acapulco Nights!!!!!
Acapulco bay
The Devil @ Palladium
Dancing in front of the raining sparks
Pissing while looking at the Bay
La Palapa
The happy song
Disc Golf lessons
Tossing the disc in the front lawn
Bags
Midday drinking all the time in the good weather - showing regular students crazy college kids
Mine and Jeremy's feasts
TKE meetings
Family Guy schedule
Looking forward to the future
Graduation speaker - "I'm excited, I'm excited, I'm scared, I'm so excited" along w/ other memorable quotes including..
Facebook addictions
Photos
Comencement speakers, Berry Gordon and the Boxes speech student
Mushrooms in the fall - "Where would you fly if you could" "7-eleven" while sitting in a truck bed
Red Bulls
Lou Ha's then Ricks routine
Songfest w/ Theta's
Realizing one's potential

This is only a sample with many more to come.

Matt Paffhouse
2006 Michigan State University Graduate
History Degree with Honors
Proudly living as a Spartan

paffy @ 2005-10-27T04:14:00

2005-10-27T08:14:49Z

The only people that understand me as who I am are Cole and Towers and Tony.......
Miss you guys being around...

paffy @ 2005-10-27T04:09:00

2005-10-27T08:10:11Z

Who am I?

I need to talk to Cole.....
What's happening buddy...

paffy @ 2005-08-30T09:11:00

2005-08-30T13:12:50Z

The best decision I ever made was when I decided I would never live a normal life. That I would constantly dare to embrace everything I possibly could. Freedom is liberty.

Paff

paffy @ 2005-04-30T21:29:00

2005-05-01T01:29:42Z

Random Comic Generator v2.0 by Delya
Nickname
Paper or plastic?
panel 1
panel 2
panel 3

Quiz created with MemeGen!

Final 2 weeks of school for better or ill

2005-04-25T03:49:29Z

Bored, and refusing or procrastinating to do work (take your pick), I go back to the funniest thing I have seen in a lonnnnnnnng time:
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"I shouldn't have brought him crumbs"

Damn that was funny.....

Feelings

2005-04-18T07:32:27Z

Have you ever had a feeling inside of you, so powerful and undeniable, that it completely takes you over? I can't place where it starts, but its the most amazing/horrible thing I have ever felt. Its a yearning to do something, I don't know what, but its there and it has to be met less it will drive you crazy. It freezes your mind to think about it but you dont know how. It almost always tends to come out with music, never without. This thing that you seek catches you at a point when you are completely willing to free yourself, but then the feeling comes and your essence prevents you from knowing what it is... Is it something not meant to be known....? Something you're not ready for....?

Then you realize, maybe that is the beauty of it.... The unknown.... to be frozen for those moments, captivated by something you can't understand or explain, but for those few times in life you feel utterly held by raw instinct and emotion, trying to blow out of you, mind and body, and to be recognized and felt...

I shouldn't have brought crumbs!!!

2005-04-08T16:35:17Z

Had a rather interesting/odd/annoying week, so I thought, being the nice person that I am, I'd let you all in on it.

I'll start from last friday where I was shaping up for the upcoming Final Four game on Saturday. Had this all night relay for life event as part of greek week, but pretty much, it was all about greek life. The event is good in its nature, but the way the greek system hosts it, really makes the fundraiser and charity aspect take second seat. For example, this is an attendance based event, with three different check-ins; 6-2pm,2-6am,6-1am. If you do not meet a certain attendence percentage for your team (consisting of 2 frats and 1 sorority) then you do not get awarded as many points towards your greek week total, which is pretty much all the sororties mostly care about, and thusly, the frats have to care as well. I could go further, but I really don't care to keep typing about it, so I'll go on. This is not to say I didn't have fun however, I had a blast there, rather its just an observation.

Yeah, I also fell in a bush running back from Ricks.

So Saturday rolls around, I'm hungover and sore from that damn bush, and we start prepping our house to host the game. We grab a keg, move the grill outside, cook some burgers, chickens, steaks, etc. and things are going smoothly, other than my chest is hurting and I'm hungover. So, the Illinois games comes on, still haven't had my first drink, and we start getting some peeps rolling in. After my hangover cure kicks in, I start drinking, and the MSU games is about to come on. Now if you know my house, especially the main room, you know it isn't designed to fit a ton of people to watch television. We had that bitch rigged up though, and were able to fit around 40 peeps in, which was pretty sweet. Thanks for everyone that came by the way, hopefully a good time was had by all. Fast forward to after the game. Within 20 minutes, you can hear tear gas being launched by the cops. Head out there with Colvin, and get tear gassed a couple times(sucks), then come back in, party, and finish off the festivities. Man, I'll write about the riot later, bored of talking about the weekend.

Anyways, so Sunday-Monday, my chest is killing me, and it's hard to breath/swallow/lay down or do much of anything. Tell my parents, and of course they tell me to go to docs. Stop in late Monday, and they schedule me for a visit on Tuesday. Long story short, that bush kicked my ass and almost punctured my lung..... yeah not fun.

Okay good stuff. Towers you were a riot wed. You have to come more often.

"You come to me with crumbs, I oughta slap you"
"I shouldn't have brought him crumbs!"

I haven't laughed that hard in a while, inebriated or not.

Thailand in 1 month 1 day!!!

Peace

Trust

2005-02-13T07:26:53Z

Life or the life

Update

2005-02-01T01:41:22Z

Well, well, what have we here? An un-updated journal, well shit, I better do something about that. I won't even do a philosophical post either; even though I do fancy myself the modern day Aristotle. Just kidding, I'm more along the lines of a Socrates.

Anyways, four weeks into the new school year and I have yet to make a final schedule. Thinking about dropping my IAH 201 class(again I know, but they are pointless) and putting it off yet another semester. We'll see. Other than that, classes aren't too bad. My Modern East Asia course should be pretty basic, and the paper is only eight pages, making the workload pretty leniant. Also, I've finally gotten around to taking Spanish 101. My TA is Asian, which makes it more difficult but also more exciting. No longer is crossing language barriers only for Engineering majors, I'm hopping over three at once. My final class is Econ 302. Shouldn't be either hard or easy. Plus, get to take another econ class with Katie, which should be helpful and fun, or as much so as econ can be.

Plans for the summer: THAILAND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have been so excited for this for so long, and it looks like it is finally going to become concrete. Have to thank Herweyer for this. For those of you who know, I tend to be as scatterbrained and impulsive as anyone, and if not kept to task I will inevitably have a new "dream" pop into my head every few weeks and cause detours in any serious planning. It will be the shit going there with him. Have looked forward to doing some travels with that guy for a while. He has a personality of a backpacker, someone who doesn't accept what they're told, but desires experiencing it on his own. Hopefully this will be an experience in which he can look back on and know, like I do know about Australia, how life changing travelling can be. I see many travels and exploits for him, maybe someday a movie about that kid's aviator career. To close that one off, let's grab the bottle of wine, toss it against the craft and drink to a summer of experiences, sun, hiking, fun, and living.

Speaking of living, I have been doing my share of it recently. Pretty soon going to have to rein in the partying a little bit and focus on academia, primarily studying for the LSATS. Ugh, horrible thought, but its a stone along my path, and I will be a better person for having taken it. Who knows, maybe Law will be my calling anyways? No one ever knows what they want to be until it falls in your lap. The key is to have the patience to outwait the fall.

Quick thoughts:

Been awesome having Shard live in; he brings a lot to the house but,
I miss the Colenan. Just isn't the same without you buddy, come back down here sometime. We'll hit up the wrestling mats Team Xtreme style once more. Fearless and defiant.
Chill room construction has stalled, must get motivation to finish it, damn wicked cycle wouldn't you say :).
Coffee IS like nectar from the Gods - Believe it
The library is a good place to study, but only if your prepared to study.
Being healthy feels good. It's more addictive than parties
With that, I'm off to live

Random thoughts

2005-01-22T02:15:48Z

Live the life you dream about
Dream about the life you live
Immortality is only sketched in minds. Live a life worth remembering
Listen to music that you love, it's the only thing besides looking at sunsets that takes you above the mundane
Don't tiptoe through life just to arrive safely at death. Dare to live
Find out who you are. Most people never understand who they are until the brief moments between life and death
Do something everyday that puts a smile on your face. It's more theuraputic than you think.
Think about jokes while you walk to class. Seeing people laughing and smiling is contagious
Never let someone demean you; you are who you are so embrace it
Follow your dreams, they'll lead to happiness
Associate yourself with people that make you happy, seperate yourselfs from those that make you sad
Jog if even for 20 seconds, you will feel better afterwards
Don't let your mind get trapped. Constantly challenge it to transcend
Care about someone more than anyone else
Travel. Humans weren't meant to stay in one place
Listen to a different persons favorite song every day, it will broaden your horizons
Stop hating, life's too short for you to go through it unhappy
Lastly, challenge yourself as an individual. Never become content. A world is out there that is begging to be explored so don't deny it.

Memories of the semester

2004-12-18T00:54:59Z

You're as cold as ice!
Flavor Flav, Uncle Sam, and Indiana Jones
Running the flip cup table at tailgate
Smokes up with random peeps at tailgates
The Timeless Room
Initiation night
Welcome Week
Mission bring girls back from Delta Chi
Thanksgiving footballs and concussions
21 hour straight library session
Beer pong training
Beer Olympics I - Aussie
Beer Olympics II - Scotland
Week of one ons
Closed Rush
Snake!
Rolling around TEKES
M80's
Bars
Going to the Riv with Taylor after tailgating
The church playground
Taylor passing out on the roof
Hold Em crazy at the begining of the year
The inception of the video camera
End of the year shindigs
First TKE fight
Skipping classes post Turkey week
Skipping first exam day cause got occupied
Woodchuck beer
Towers 21st
The Washing machine
Crushes
One night stand Beer Oympics girl
Study Abroad work
Planning too many trips
Wine Wednesday
"Dude, it's Wednesday..."
6 roommates
Party all the time everytime

Good Times

2004-12-06T04:30:36Z

"Could my ass escape in my Geo Prism; the little red rental that could. I Was praying no more hair would grow on my palms as I drove away from this sign"

Not that I have ever been one for quoting songs, but that verse from Martin Sextons, The Beast in Me, sparked this post, therefore I had to give it a little recongition.

As the semester is coming to a close, I can honestly say I've never seen one go by so fast. Whether it being the old adage that time goes faster as you age or some other inexplainable reason, I have come to accept it and ride it. I have had a great time through the good (hanging with friends, making new friends, and finding people who make me feel good) or the bad (21 hours straight in the library), and can justly say that all the memories have been priceless. I'm rather happy that I finally got the video camera idea up and running, that should be a riot to watch come the end of the year.

Anyways, back to the song. I go to college to get an education. An education in school. An education is youth. And most importantly, an education on life and what I want to make of it. As time goes on, I realize that the 9-5 lifestyle is not for me. I can not do it. Life is too short. Life is too good for such a porous waste of time. Why sit in an office when you can be diving in the Ocean off the coast of Thailand? Why go to court to argue in front of a juror while you could be atop mountains with nothing in front of you but the world? While that lifestyle is not for all, for those that can do, I will see you on my jouney. Meet you in the ocean, drink with you atop mountains, and talk with you in any place we can imagine.

Recent evets eh? Well, our pledges got initiated Friday, and I can honestly say, that I am looking forward to living and partying with those kids next year. Seeing the people that are going to be living in next year continually makes me excited about the future of this frat. I was definately rolling around last night, and while my mind was blurred in some aspects, it's never been sharper in others.

Saturday night we had our first "real" party of the semester. Hopefully a good time was had by all, as one was certainly had by me. Unfortunately, it had to be cut early because of outstanding instances in T-K, but what else can be expected of such a "rowdy" frat ;).

Thirdly, and least obvious, hopefully things will work out for me in one respect that has never worked out or been pursued in the past

That's it for the night. Tired of typing and looking forward to a movie and some sleep.

I loathe Thomas Roderick Dew

2004-11-21T21:52:45Z

I really do. Just thought I would let that one drop first.

I just found out I have an exam at 8 am on Tuesday. I suppose that's what I get for not going to class the past couple weeks, but regardless, that dicks me over, because I have a wicked 12 page paper to do by then. How do I get myself in these situations...

On a brighter subject, I had an awesome time at the stoplight party at TEKE's yesterday. The green ghost buster shirt was brought out(vintage)(and it glows in the dark)(just wanted to do three of these in a row), and just had a good time chilling. I'm pretty sure I am over the "let's crowd in a dance room and party" stage of college. Seems like I have been much more apt to sit down and chill with the random peeps. Anyways, there is no time for posting anymore, it's time to study ;).

Paff

Days of the Age

2004-11-19T18:36:57Z

So I'm sitting here, once again realizing I have the best job on campus. I get paid 8 bucks and hour to sit and dink around on the internet or do my homework. When I do have to do work, I get to talk about studying abroad(or more than one, yuck yuck) and Australia, one of my favorite subjects.

Last night was a blast. Me and Cole rocked out hard, which is good cause Denise was here for the pat week, so didn't get to hang out with him for a while. It's always a blast when we party, and I think last night had its fair share of good memories.

"Give me a hit of match man"

Boy did they mess you up. I even had a cop moment yesterday. So after Keg Stand Bobby's party got busted up, we went across the street to Wirtzs. Me, Nicky, Julie.......Aaaaa, and Phelps were chilling outside. PoPo follow, and everyone goes inside. Me, being my brilliant self, take a stance and stay outside and drink my beer, verbally affirming that I am 21. The cops come out, walk up to me and start questioning me on what I said. This goes on for a bit, until they start giving me lip. Naturally I get defensive, and they start threatening me.

"It's fucks like you that give this place a bad reputation"

Oh well, never a fan of cops anyway. After that, we pack in the safe rides and make our voyage back to TKE's, where the real fun begins. Thanks to all involved, I had an awesome time last night, especially chilling in the timeless room. Matches, house tours, laundry detergent(haha), and who can forget hot potato ball. That was actually really fun popping that sucker around, even when it turned to volleyball and Mike popped Julie......Aaaa in the face Good times, good times.

As for tonight, I'm gonna head to CMU for a little bit, maybe spend the night and party with Towers, Brad, Daryl, and Bazuin. It will be good to get out of this place for a bit. I love the hell out of it, but sometimes a breath of fresh air is needed.

Happy Birthday Katie, little girl!!! Sorry I can't make the party saturday, but we'll rip it up over Turkey week.

Speaking of which, let's head to the bar Wednesday night. Riggens informed me today, that the Wednesday before Thanksgiving is the best bar night of the year. All the college students heading home, and getting rowdy in the bars. Haven't seen some of those peeps in a while, so it should be a good time, if nothing other than interesting. Other plans for T-week include the annual football game(white long johns and all), of course the festivities at the loft(you're all invited), and lots of family time which will be a blast.

Saturday - Stoplight party at TEKE's. BE THERE. IN GREEN. IF YOUR A GIRL! (red if guy ;)). This will be a good time had by all, and definately look forward to seeing certain people.

Well thats all I got this time, hit me up with some comments or I'll catch you all on the flip side of reality.

Beer Olympics

2004-11-14T09:28:13Z

To the Sons of Scotland. To the Patrons of Greece. To the world communities representatives in the art of beer drinking. ANother great olym[pics has come and went. The festivities were fun as expectded. However, I lsot my phone and I am sad. Sad Matt. Regardlesss, IO had an awesome time tonight. Thanks Tina for another great party. TIll the events come full circle again, Scotlands Pride shall rest in wait.

Paff

The Good

2004-11-12T22:39:42Z

Life is good. Life is good. Life is good. Hope everyone is rocking out as I know you all do, because I sure as hell have been. I just tore up my past two exams nailing 30/30 in econ and 49/50 for Astronomy, both class highs(im patting myself on the back in the figurative sense of the word). As for entertainment, I repeat, life is good. Every day this week, I will have something that I can look back and remember. Driving to Meijers for some much needed boosting, the sons of scotland, serenades, tobacco juice(i know it sounds weird, but it is funny), and many other moments. Words by themselves, but words that conjure up thoughts of joy and intrigue; laughter and sobreity(or lack thereof). To Meijers to dust.

As for this weekend, out giant tailgate at TKE's got cancelled by the East Lansing police. They thought it was a safety hazard. Pfft. Safety, let that ocea group deal with it. This is college, we are meant to be safe always, its time to live on the edge. Oh well, there's always another rock out there that can be spray painted. A field that can hold beer cans. A group of people that want to have fun. It doesn't matter where you are or who you are with, as long as the moment of feeling perpetuate the gathering.

Tomorrow night we have the Beer Olympics Part Deuce. The Australia team has been retired for the moment being, to regroup and come back at a later time. Picking up the slack are the Sons of Scotland. Hopefully they will come out with a good showing, and represent the country well.

That's it for now. Ta.

Paff

Update

2004-11-08T19:42:00Z

Well, I figured since all I ever post on here are posts that are meant to provoke thoughts in others as well as to help me finish my thinking on whatever the subject is, I will actually post a general entry.

The past couple months have been awesome. For those of you who don't know, I moved into 152 Gunson street with a crew of gentlemen that are always rocking. Our house is the little yellow house, that "is bigger than it looks." My roomates are Holmes, Cole, Towers, Nicoteen, and Tony. This house rules. Not because of what it is, but the atmosphere that permeates the place. There is always something going on with at least some people always in a good mood if not everyone. Long story short, I have fun.

Being in the frat, TKE, has been sweet as well. I had second thoughts about joining for much of pledge semester last year, as well as the same thoughts over the summer, but those have mostly dissipitated. There are so many cool gents there, it really has opened up new avenues for me to go down. Just the other day I went disc golfing with some guys there, something I have only done a couple other times, and it was a blast. Basically what I am saying is there is always something going on there, with chill guys to hang with.

Okay more recent info. Halloween was amazing. Each year it gets higher up on my favorite holiday list. It really is a time where people can just let go and have fun. This year I went as Flavor Flav! In case you don't know him, he is a rapper from the group Public Enemy from the 80's. He was the guy that wore(wears) the clock around his neck. He is also in a show called the Surreal Life on VH1. That is where my inspiration for it came from. I decked myself out in black paint, got a clock around the neck, viking helmet up to, and completed it with baggy pants and a basketball jersey. I was worried for a while about people recognizing me, but it turned it to be a big success. Herster had a sweet costume as well. He went decked out in this badass Uncle Sam suit complete with white hair point for his goatee, eyebrows, and hair. Complete costume. The whole weekend was so fun. The big costume night was friday at TKE's, and both are costumes were pretty big hits. Saturday night was sweet. Rocking out in a car trunk with a male french maid listening to cell phone techno. 'Nuff said. Of course Sunday, ah sweet, sweet sunday. The festivities kicked off early and went all day until eventually going to the bar with Riggens and Holmes. I swapped costumes with Nicoteen for this one, going as the Dude. I thought it was appropriate ;).

That brings me to this past weekend. Really fun weekend. Highlight was definately Saturday. Tailgating all day long, breaking into rooms to smoke, the leaf blanket, stealing kegs, and eventually have a party at our house at night. That was sweet. Got to see the ol crew from 4 east last year, although I wished I had been able to hang out more, but was doing some hosting duties. We will definately have to do that again sometime, possibly this weekend? W

Well that is all I can think of at the moment. I'm going to try and start posting more often so I have a record of what I actually did here instead of blank memories. I'll catch you ladies and gents later.

Paff

Path

2004-11-07T19:20:28Z

CURRENTS*
[ Current Mood ] Content
[ Current Music ] The Postal Service - The District Sleeps Alone Toni
[ Current Taste ] Whatever is free
[ Current Make-up ] BO
[ Current Hair ] Brining back the 70's with the shag
[ Current Annoyance ] Myself
[ Current Smell ] haha
[ Current Favorite Artist ] Cole Laughlin
[ Current Desktop Picture ] Nightime sky with the Aurura
[ Current Favorite Group ] Postal Service
[ Current Book you're reading ] Civil War
[ Current CD in CD Player] None, but Ares on computer
[ Current DVD in player] Donnie Darko was last I watched, or Charlie Brown Halloween Special
[ Current Color Of Toenails ] as white as can be
[ Current Refreshment ] Tropical Punch juice packs
[ Current Worry ] Spreading myself too thin

*LAST PERSON*
[ You Touched ] I think holmes
[ You Talked to ] Chris
[ You Hugged ] Katie
[ You Instant messaged ] The Toph man
[ You Yelled At ] Shard
[ You Kissed ] Allison

*FAVORITES*
[ Food ] Taco
[ Drink ] H20
[ Color ] The day sky
[ Album ] Third Eye Blind - Self Titled
[ Shoes ] Slip on dockers
[ Candy ] Sour Skittles
[ Animal ] King Bernard
[ TV Show ] Aqua Teen Hunger Force baby, funniest show ever
[ Movie ] Braveheart
[ Dance ] Used to love dancing, but really haven't in a while
[ Song ] Motorcycle Driveby
[ Vegetable ] Green Peas - have to be cold, they suck hot
[ Fruit ] Grapes
[ Cartoon ] AQHF- go meatwad

*ARE YOU*
[ Understanding ] At times
[ Open-minded ] Very
[ Arrogant ] Not like I used to be
[ Insecure ] There are definately some cracks in the armor
[ Interesting ] I try to be
[ Random ] Definately ;)
[ Hungry ] All the time
[ Friendly ] Sounds right
[ Smart ] Used to be more, need to regain some of my lost wit
[ Moody ] Rarely, only after long nights
[ Childish ] I miss it when I was more often
[ Independent ] Very much so, too much at times
[ Hard working ] Not a chance
[ Organized ] Haven't been organized since I first saw air
[ Healthy ] Trying to regain my fitness level
[ Emotionally Stable ] Used to think I always was, but will need to get something to balance me sooner or later
[ Shy ] Most of the time no, sometimes very much so
[ Difficult ] I don't think so, but who knows
[ Attractive ] Beauty is in the eye of the beholder
[ Bored Easily ] Only boring people get bored. There is always something to do or someone to talk to.
[ Messy ] Ask my roommates
[ Thirsty ] Always
[ Responsible ] School yes, life I worry about
[ Obsessed ] With living the *right* life. Seeing the world. Finding a girlfriend at some point(never thought I would say that did ya, what can I say, I'm getting old)
[ Angry ] I don't get really pissed unless you are being stupid when Im in a really bad mood
[ Sad ] Rarely. I would say I reside around cloud 7 on a day-to-day basis
[ Happy ] Most of the time
[ Hyper ] I've become a much more chill person. No more Meijer Cart runs at 11 anymore
[ Trusting ] To a fault
[ Talkative ] Used to be more, very reflective these days

*WHO DO YOU WANT TO*
[ Kill ] No one
[ Slap ] Myself
[ Get Really Wasted With ] Petey, Timbo
[ Get High With ] Petey, Timbo
[ Look Like ] Used to be Pitt, but Jude Law is a badass as well
[ Talk To Offline ] A confidant
[ Talk To Online ] People that want to talk to me.

*ABOUT ME*
[ My Name Is ] Matthew David Paffhouse
[ In The Morning I Am ] Looking forward to the day
[ All I Need Is ] Something constant in my life
[ Love Is ] A vague concept
[ I'm Afraid of ] Never letting people get too close
[ I Dream About ] Girls mostly - Amen toph

*HAVE YOU EVER*
[ Pictured your crush naked? ] Who hasn't?
[ Actually seen ur crush naked ] nope
[ Been in love ] Maybe, I guess I'll never know
[ Cried when someone died ] Yes
[ Lied ] Try not to, hate the word

*WHICH IS BETTER*
[ Coke or Pepsi ] H20
[ Flowers or candy] A witty line, but it could be time to wake up and smell the flowers
[ Tall or short ] Middle

*WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX*
[what do U notice first?] Smile without a doubt, a good smile and eyes can melt me
[last person U slow danced with] God I don't know
[worst question to ask] Any question during a movie

*WHO*
[makes U laugh the most?] Nickoteen
[makes you smile] Thoughts of concepts
[gives U a funny feeling when U see them] A couple peeps, id say Sara is at top
[who do you have a crush on?] Secrets - good or bad? have to decide later
[has a crush on U?] If I knew, I would be eating lunch with them
[is easiest to talk to] Cole/Haas/Toph/Her - pick you subject

*DO YOU EVER*
[sit on the Internet all night waiting for someone special to I. M. you?] really don't like aim
[ wish U were a member of the opposite sex] Not really, I like peeing upright
[cried because of someone saying something to you] Yes

*HAVE YOU EVER*
[fallen for your best friend] Wasn't my best friend but was close
[been rejected] Yeppers, and it sucks
[rejected someone] Feel bad about them still
[used someone] I'm naturally a string puller
[been cheated on] Never really had a g/f
[done something you regret] Nah, the choices we make dictate the people we become

*WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON*
[you talked to on the phone] Nick or Amanda I think.
[hugged] repeat?
[you instant messaged] Toph
[you laughed with] Thugs and other 4 east patrons

*DO YOU // HAVE YOU*
[smoke cigarettes] Hate them, but do when I drink
[obsessive] Nope
[could U live without the computer?] Easily, mine isn't even plugged in
[color ur hair] Have before
[ever get off the damn computer] Sure thing, right after this
[habla espanol] Taco Bell's about it
[how many peeps are on ur buddy list?] Around 100-150 but only talk to like 15
[drink alcohol?] Too much
[like watching sunrises or sunset] Sunrises are the greatest things, sunsets are a mood setter
[what hurts the most?} Not knowing what is the right decision

*NUMBER*
[of times I have had my heart broken?] Never really broken, but think about it a lot
[of hearts I have broken?] Not sure, don't want to think about it
[of guys I have kissed?] Zero
[of girls I have kissed?] Not sure, more than some less than others, is that adequate?
[of continents I have lived in?] 2, soon to be 3
[of tight friends?] under 8
[of CDs' that I own?] 4
[of scars on my body?] 6ish
[of things in my past that I regret?] Not taking action when action was needed

Life.. The Greatest Journey

2004-10-22T06:43:33Z

What does it mean to live? I have asked myself that question constantly and have never come up with an answer. Is it to dedicate your life to your friends? Maybe to your girlfriends? Maybe it means to live for yourself, make the journey thats called live the best it can be. Possibly it means even fallin in love. Who the fuck am I to know. All I can do, is make the time I live the best it can possibly be. I hope that it is the right decision, for there is nothing else I could dedicate my life to more. Hopefully everyone I know(and you know who you are if I call you or keep in contact with you) feels this same way, or could relate. Anyways, I am drunk so live on, party on, and make the fucking most out of life you can.

Peace
Paff

What you make of it

2004-05-14T19:58:36Z

Ack, Blah, Confused, Torn, Guiltly, Empowered, Impassioned, Hindsight, Foresight. These words seem to be the most adequate way to describe my present mindset. As many of you know, the year at State concluded this past Friday, May 7th. I had planned on returning home and working for the summer, especially since I had viewed it as my last run home. However, after arriving home, I had a revelation that I might not be able to get a job. Thus enters the thought to move to State for the summer, work, get credits, and party like a Spartan (in lieu of a better word ;)). Now, a week later, I have to make up my mind whether I am going to stay home or go to State for the summer; in under an hour. How heinous is that? There are so many reasons for both, and just as many negatives about each. I really do not know what to do. I'm sure I will figure something out, hopefully, but who knows. Lord knows I'd rather turn my back to the world, pack my bags, and disappear to another place. To be able to drop everything, fly to Fiji, Australia, Nepal, anywhere, that is the ultimate freedom. I wish I would have the fortitude of mind to do that, but alas, I'm costrained by the very society I loathe that keeps me pinned in my two homes, vying for a living that I don't want. Such is Life. A toast then. To embracing life, wholeheartedly and without restraint, to pave the best possible path, where freedom and joy are defined soley by oneself.

Unfolding the tides of life

2004-04-29T18:06:46Z

The past couple days, I have been in a spectacular mood. Everything seems to be brighter, happier, and joyful. That is not to say I have had little work to do; on the contrary, I have been swamped. I wrote a 10 page paper the night before it was due, a 22 page paper in two days last week, and a 24 page project last tuesday. Busy times. Regardless of all that, regardless of hell week, regardless of anything, life is good. To make things even better, I got two replies to my last post from Colenan and Towers which just made me even happier. At the moment I feel as if I am on top of the world, something that I have not felt in a LONG time. Hopefully this feeling will last for a while, it is addicting. I just want to say thanks to all my friends who have helped me through the bad and shared in my enjoyment during the good. Alas, I have no deep philosophical message or inquiry for this post, but instead just a message of being happy.

Cole, no doubt this summer will be a combination of all four of the mentioned, plus many many more. I am proud of ya man, you went through the dark, and I'm glad you are into good times now; I just wish I could have been there to help ya out. Also, why don't we just sell our bodies for buds now?

Towers, that summer will be equal and better than any other summer. We have all come into our own, and now what we want. Life will be good.

Life...

2004-04-15T21:33:49Z

As the sun continues to make its presence known, and as winter breathes its last chilly gusts, I find myself lost. The conviction I once felt about my future is seemingly gone. I try and grasp onto the threads that it left behind, but I never reach fulfillment with them; either too fleeting or just plain wrong. The future seems too imminent; a step closer every day, but always two steps ahead. I have never been a planner; matter of fact, many of my friends would say that would be one of my greatest vices. Then when I do plan, I seem to view it unfolding as a perfect destiny. Whether it culminates with me on a beach cliff, overseeing the vast ocean tide rolling in or with me in an classroom, guiding and overseeing another persons future, it is always *perfect*. Not that there is anything wrong of dreaming of the perfect future, but I find these dreams becoming less and less practical as life moves on....

I really don't know what I'm trying to say right now, just in a rather sanguine mood. If anyone has any insights, feel free to impart them on me.

Bullshit

2004-02-02T20:14:29Z

I hate being trapped in places that limit what I can/wish to do. I'm sitting here, relaxing/thinking to music and find my mind soaring to places I can only dream about being at. I imagine myself doing things that are completely feasible and far more important than what I'm doing here, yet I CANNOT do them and it is irrating me to no end. It's like society is a cage; a cage not made of metal and bars but of thoughts and doubts that inhibit the mind. These doubts pushed upon us, that we have to go to college, work for a living, and mindlessly follow in the same footsteps of the millions of other people who have done it before, are ludicrous. Then if you manage to break free of this incorporal cage, the greater community views you as an evil. They wonder who these people think they are, not doing what everyone else is?? Yet these same people that look down upon and shun those that follow their dreams are the same one that praise those that have broken tradition before. Man this is pissing me off, if anyone has any thoughts on this tirade, feel free to post, because I'm done, my keyboard right key is broke.

Paff